Yes. I am in hell.
Today, I'm sorry to remind you(myself) that this blogs' purpose was initially all about documentation and for helping others who find themselves with the same problems know they are not alone.
Now, I enjoy entertaining more than I enjoy blabbling about the same ol crap that has me down(or up) about my MS. But, quite honestly, I'm feeling guilty for abusing Abby as my go-to-email-crit-partner-bitch-buddy. (I'm the bitcher, obviously not Abby) And now must abuse you. As it is Writery Wednesday, I want to open up about my writing a bit and where I am in the process.
I'm in the midst of revisions on a novel I don't believe in as it stands. It is hell to me. The part of hell that you only hear about happening but don't ever believe that could happen to you. I hate my novel. I have been working on it for over a year and I have this pain in my chest that is trying to make me believe that all that work was for nothing.
But I can't believe that. I have had some of the best eyes I know on it, probing it, helping to make it shine. And I know how to write, dammit. I am a good writer. I didn't start out that way and by no delusional dream do I believe that this novel is well written through and through. I know there is work to be done. And I know I can make it awesome. It just took me a while to learn how.
I'm still learning every day but, I just want to say that I'm finding my love for this story again. This time last week it was gone and I was ready to abandon ship for a new shiny idea. But, being snowed in and running out of distractions made me face my beast. And I am finding the love again.
Thanks to Writers Knowledge Base I have also found that this is a common thing among writers. We love it, we hate it, we love it, we hate it. It's a freaking WiP yo-yo. It's exhausting. And I think I could have been done with my revisions by now if I wasn't on the downer part of my yo-yo trip. But I am holding on to hope that the fire will return, my passion for this one will be reignited, and my novel will be great! Dammit...How hot is that guy? I mean, yea you can't see his face but...umm...what is the problem? ANYWAY
So, when do you love it again?
Well, no search engine in the world could tell you that. It just happens. You find something about it you loved and realize that you still love the whole thing. You wrote it for a reason, you loved it for a reason in the first place. And the reason is still there, it never left. Your MS is loyally waiting for you to love it again, too. It's you(me) that has the problem. Not the MS.
Yesterday I wasn't able to make my usual rounds. I do sincerely apologize to everyone!! But it was a beautiful snow day. I slept in a little, snacked a bit, revised a bit more, let the 5 kitties explore the snow(that was seriously a very short bit..they thought it was pretty evil after...5 minutes...when they realized the white fluffy was actually cold and wet), did a bunch of laundry, and changed up my hair a bit.
Tomorrow I will probably be snowed in again (my vacation days are pretty low now...) but without laundry (praying the cat doesn't piss on my bed again...thank goodness for thick blankets or he would be a homeless boy if he ruined my barely 6 month old mattress!) and hair, I can work harder on my novel and see you all!
In other news, the amazing blogger Donna Weaver @ Weaving a Tale or Two presented me among several awesomes to receive The Versatile Blogger Award! Thanks so much Donna! (duties have been done to this one.)
Happy Wednesday! Set a fire!