Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Writery Wednesday Where You Find Me In HELL

Yes. I am in hell. 

Today, I'm sorry to remind you(myself) that this blogs' purpose was initially all about documentation and for helping others who find themselves with the same problems know they are not alone.

Now, I enjoy entertaining more than I enjoy blabbling about the same ol crap that has me down(or up) about my MS. But, quite honestly, I'm feeling guilty for abusing Abby as my go-to-email-crit-partner-bitch-buddy. (I'm the bitcher, obviously not Abby)  And now must abuse you. As it is Writery Wednesday, I want to open up about my writing a bit and where I am in the process.

I'm in the midst of revisions on a novel I don't believe in as it stands. It is hell to me. The part of hell that you only hear about happening but don't ever believe that could happen to you. I hate my novel. I have been working on it for over a year and I have this pain in my chest that is trying to make me believe that all that work was for nothing.

But I can't believe that. I have had some of the best eyes I know on it, probing it, helping to make it shine. And I know how to write, dammit. I am a good writer. I didn't start out that way and by no delusional dream do I believe that this novel is well written through and through. I know there is work to be done. And I know I can make it awesome. It just took me a while to learn how.

I'm still learning every day but, I just want to say that I'm finding my love for this story again. This time last week it was gone and I was ready to abandon ship for a new shiny idea. But, being snowed in and running out of distractions made me face my beast. And I am finding the love again.

Thanks to Writers Knowledge Base I have also found that this is a common thing among writers. We love it, we hate it, we love it, we hate it. It's a freaking WiP yo-yo. It's exhausting. And I think I could have been done with my revisions by now if I wasn't on the downer part of my yo-yo trip. But I am holding on to hope that the fire will return, my passion for this one will be reignited, and my novel will be great! Dammit...How hot is that guy? I mean, yea you can't see his face but...umm...what is the problem?  ANYWAY

So, when do you love it again?

Well, no search engine in the world could tell you that. It just happens. You find something about it you loved and realize that you still love the whole thing. You wrote it for a reason, you loved it for a reason in the first place. And the reason is still there, it never left. Your MS is loyally waiting for you to love it again, too. It's you(me) that has the problem. Not the MS.


Yesterday I wasn't able to make my usual rounds. I do sincerely apologize to everyone!! But it was a beautiful snow day. I slept in a little, snacked a bit, revised a bit more, let the 5 kitties explore the snow(that was seriously a very short bit..they thought it was pretty evil after...5 minutes...when they realized the white fluffy was actually cold and wet), did a bunch of laundry, and changed up my hair a bit.

Tomorrow I will probably be snowed in again (my vacation days are pretty low now...) but without laundry (praying the cat doesn't piss on my bed again...thank goodness for thick blankets or he would be a homeless boy if he ruined my barely 6 month old mattress!) and hair, I can work harder on my novel and see you all!

In other news, the amazing blogger Donna Weaver @ Weaving a Tale or Two presented me among several awesomes to receive The Versatile Blogger Award! Thanks so much Donna! (duties have been done to this one.)
Happy Wednesday! Set a fire!


  1. oh i yo-yo so bad! i hate that. and honestly i think that even after a book is published, we will still find things we coulda, shoulda changed/fixed.

  2. Oh I like the new look! I think it's great you're not giving up. I've found the best remedy for me is to distance myself for awhile and work on other things. I come back to the ms with renewed eyes and realize I really do love the story.
    But I know what you mean... it can be a bi-atch! A love-hate relationship.

    Happy writing! And thanks for the links! :)

  3. I have a serious love-hate thing going on with one of my WIPs at the moment. I took a long hiatus from it recently to work on something else, but I opened it back up yesterday to find my love for it had magically returned. I'm not sure what brought it back--it just happened.

    Great post! :)

  4. I experienced the full spectrum of emotions while working on my novel. After I'd read it for the thousanth time, all I wanted to do was fire-bomb it. But then I put it away, got some distance and in a month or so, when I opened it I fell in love all over again. Now, I haven't started editorial revisions yet...I'll let you know how I feel about that novel in a few weeks! ;)

  5. It's good that you have people with you, because sometimes only the assurances of others that your novel is GOOD, and that you shouldn't give up on is what pulls you through to the other side.

    Best of luck!

  6. I always have a love/hate relationship with my ms. Good crit partners go a long way to pushing me through. It sounds like you have some amazing people in your corner. You can do it!

    Good luck!

  7. Yes. Yo-yo. That's me 'n my novel. I'm totally with you on this one. Some days I am so engaged, excited, loving it, and other days I'm sick of it and wonder if I should just move on to something else. I keep getting shiny new ideas dangling in front of my face, and it can be hard to stay focused on the true novel, the one I want published someday. We just gotta keep riding the wave. We'll get to the end!

    I'm snowed in too and thankfully working from home today. Stay warm!

  8. Hating it is a natural part of the process. Use the hate to hack amd slash away everything that sucks, and leave only the gems :) Don't let the hate drive you to abandoning your WIP.

  9. work thru the hate. start something new if you must. don't abandon all your work tho. You'll be back on the upswing (hopefully) soon. Best of luck!

  10. Oh thank goodness you said something. I was trying to read that paragraph next to the picture but kept getting distracted by "Hello Mr. Fire Man with rock hard abs and sinewy chest".

    I can't say that I've ever been in the "hate" mode with my MS. But I've had plenty of times where I've convinced myself that I was the only one who could possibly enjoy reading it. That is the most suckalicious part of the whole process, I think.

    That and query writing!

  11. It so is like a yo-yo! I'm hating my WiP now as I revise it, but I know if I hold on long enough, I'll love it again. Ugh, so frustrating!

  12. I truly know what you mean! I have such a love/hate relationship with my novel, but I'm so glad you're finding the love again.

    Just keep at it, you'll get there. And remember, you're not alone! :)

  13. OH, so glad you are in love with your novel again! I can SO identify. Sometimes the only thing to do just put it away for a while an work on something else.

    It seems to be cold everywhere today, which is why I'm baking.

  14. I've been having the same feelings about finishing my current wip. I had my writing group on Monday though and I started writing again and it's been many weeks. Hooray! Good luck! You're not alone.

  15. DUDE! FIre man is SMOKING hot. In all senses of the word. I mean, he's practically glistening from the proximity of the flames. Oh, I apologize, I just drooled all over your blog page. AWKWARD!

    Also, Colene, if you need to bitch and complain, you can always email me. I have no problem being the sounding board either. And, I promise, that through our new arrangement *wink wink* I will do whatever I can to help your MS be the best it can be! You're so strong for resisting temptation on the new idea and sticking with your current WIP. And I hope the love keeps returning.

    I've definitely been in the HATING stage. There is a reason I don't read my work. I love it when I'm writing but when I actually start reading anything I write I get overwhelmed with a massive desire to delete from how horrible it is! This is why editing is so hard for me. If I didn't have comments from my family for the first 25 pages and had an idea of how to fix it....that shit would've been deleted. I have issues.....

    You are not alone!

  16. Writing yo-yo; I like that. Hadn't encountered that much until my current WIP...mostly cuz I haven't had much time to work on it, and it's hard to keep the flow/interest. Glad you got your love for yours back, rah!

    HaHA, cats in snow. I know, right? As soon as their little paws get cold, they're history. Enjoy the snowed-in, good writing weather!

  17. I'm sure you'll work your way out of the novel editing. Don't give up. And Hell might be a great place to be. It's where I will end up, for sure. My idea of Hell is geology field trips at day time, black-metal concerts in the evening, and I won't even mention all the fun we'll have at night. Sounds nice, doesn't it >:D

    Cold As Heaven

  18. I have a love/hate relationship with my MS, but I think it's healthy. Loving, hating then loving the MS again is a big part of the process for me. As are awesome CPs. :)

  19. Glad you are coming around on it- you really need to give it a chance :) I think once you submit it to us, I think you'll fall more in love as you get new challenges and ideas for it.

    I will be your bitch partner for life, because you're that awesome. Okay that sounded bad. You can be my bitch partner for life. Okay, that sounded better ;p

  20. Glad to hear you're finding the love again!

  21. I go from love to hate quite rapidly. I loved my manuscript on Monday, hated it yesterday. Glad you have a bitch partner, I need to pick me up one of those.

  22. Yes! I am so like this! I love and hate my WIP's every other minute of the day.

    One of my biggest fears in the world is that all this is going to come to nothing. I'll never get an agent, never get published. I'll have wasted all this time, all these months day and hours and have nothing to show for it.

    Oh, and by the way, feel free to email me to bitch any time (if you want to give Abby a break, though I'm sure she doesn't mind at all!).

  23. I'm in the same sort of hell. Revisions are HARD. Chin up, buttercup. You can so it.

  24. I love the new look of the blog, Colene! :)

    The worst possible thing to do is to think that all of that time was for nothing. Believe me it wasn't. Once your revise your novel, submit its manuscript, and I hope it gets published.

  25. Amie B, I'm so scared of that!! Thanks Amie! Something new to freak out about! ;)

    Pk Hrezo, Thanks Pk! I have been distanced enough I think! (3 months enough) Might be the problem...

    Kristina Fugate said... I hope your love hate levels out! But glad you have gotten your love back!

  26. Colene, when did you revamp your blog? I LOVE the changes, they are great!
    I loved this post too because I have been the same with my WIP and I wrote a post
    because I decided that maybe my WIP was a sacrificial manuscript, but this post has given me hope. :O)

  27. I hate my novel every 3 days. And just like you said, I try to keep in mind that there is something that I loved about it, something that wont allow me to leave it alone.

  28. My sympathy on the revision blues. I hope things continue to look up for you.

    Love the new look.


  29. I think the first or second and sometimes third novel is the hardest because you are still learning the craft. There were times when I hated mine, but over all, I am so in love with the characters and the idea of my world that I overcame all the negatives.
    N. R. Williams, fantasy author

  30. I always have a love-hate relationship with my novel. Always. I hate them because everything doesn't come together the right way. But I love them, because I know I can beat it into submission. So just keep beating away! You can do it!

    And I've been such a loser. This is the first time I've seen your new blog layout/colors. Fab!

  31. I have been in the hell dungeon before and have clawed my way back out a couple of times. It hurts like a biznatch when you first fall and then you say forget this shiznit...walk away. Slam door. Throw out a few choice words.

    Eventually I get lonely in the room by myself and then go back in and look up to find that snooty chica muse of mine extending her hand to pull me back up through like she's my new BFF. She only uses half strength so by the time I'm at the top I only have enough energy to give her a firm bitch slap and then a hug...then back to work.

    Congrats on your award too. :)

  32. Really? THIS is bitching? Bring it. I was expecting way more oh woe is me, my life is over stuff. I'll take your bitching any day!

    Oh, I'm laughing at those poor kitties - suckered in by the white fluffy blanket on the ground only to be shaking paws because it's wet and won't come off!

    I have never stopped loving my story. The writing? I'm up and down - love it, hate it, love it, hate it. It's my love for the story and my characters that keeps me coming back, slogging through it. When I hate the writing, I rely on my crit partners to tell me it's not as sucky as I think it is!

  33. A creator and her or his WIP must get some breathing room before they can find their way back to each other.

  34. I'm on a yo-you too! Dammit. I wrote another novel hoping to jump back into my first and make it awesome.

    HA! For two days I've been beating my head against a wall. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!

    I think I've got the first chapter finally figured out. Three more to fix and them tighten up the other fifteen chapters. WHAT FUN!

    I'm there with you kiddo.


  35. Been there, done that... today. It's hard and you might do it even after it's published.

  36. I've been there before. It like the pre-query roller coaster, but it's just the kiddie version. The real one comes when you head off to query land. Of course that's when it helps to love something else instead. ;)

  37. I went from hate to love on my MS in the last two weeks. It's good to be on the positive side of things right now!

  38. You merely need to puruse our blog to understand the hell we live in since our quest to publishing began.

    er, no, don't waste time with that (unless you want to). Suffice it to say, it's part of it.

    We're in total support of your journey, Colene. You'll get there and when you do, we'll support you then, too.

    Congratulations on where you are, girl!!!

  39. You know what - you positively OOZE voice! (in a good way!) Granted I haven't read the novel side of Colene, but my guess is that you ARE an amazing writer and you've got this one in the bag. I totally have a love/hate relationship with my wip. It's exhausting. But, it will also be worth it to push on through. It's all good! :)

  40. Oh Colene-that is such a hard spot. I generally hate it shortly after I've set it aside, then when I make myself pick it up again (after a few months minimum) I think "hey... that's not as bad as I thought" and get my changes in to make it actually GOOD... then I set it aside another time and start to hate it... I'm a 'love the one you're with' girl.

  41. Everything will work out, I believe in you. :)

    The snow really did eat up some hours. I left early Tuesday as to not be caught in it and we were closed Wednesday. Hope I have enough hours for the honeymoon and vacation.

  42. I just love how you subtly change subjects! I’m in revision too and just hit the love phase.Tomorrow, maybe hate.

  43. Spot on. I have the same issues myself. Don't all us writers? Soitenly! But you'll get it the way it should be. There is no doubt on my end :)

  44. Holly, Thank you! It's an art ;) Glad you're in the love phase now! Enjoy it!

    D.P., I hope your issues get resolved soon! Thank you for the sweet compliment!

  45. First of all, I love the new background :D

    Oh the yo-yo. I'm there. I hate my trilogy. I love it. I loathe it. I know it's amazing. I want to set fire to it and laugh as it turns into charcoal.

    Yeah. We writer's usually camp close to the fires of hell. Finding the love is hard, but necessary to get to those most beloved of all words : THE END.

    Best of luck in the writing! Stay safe and warm!

  46. *nods* I'm in revision hell too! Don't stress about your MS, it'll all pop back into place. Remember, you wrote it for a reason :)



  47. I'm on that downward yo-yo part with one of my WIPs. I kind of want it to die right now. But I'm glad to hear that the fire can come back because I truly do love this story.

    So glad it's coming back for you. Enjoy your snow days and fun hair! =D

  48. I often get to feeling that my novel is good, but not great, and I'm doomed since all the agents pretty much say they want awesome. It's a lot of pressure.

    BUT. What we have to keep in mind, like you said, is that we all get to hating our WIPs sometimes. A lot of this is probably us being dramatic writery types that are way too hard on ourselves.

    AND. All it takes is that one agent to think its awesome, and we don't want any other agent but one who loves our work.

    Enough capital letters... there was a great post I read somewhere about making 'love lists'. Make a list of everything that you love about your book (think back to when you were first inspired to write it). And when I get down on myself I go back and read all the parts I think rock. So, focus on the love! You're awesome for sticking it out. Breaks are sometimes good too, though, and can give you fresh perspective.

  49. We all have a love-hate relationship with our WiPs. It'll always pick up. Don't worry and have faith!

    *ugh* I wish we had snow days so bad I can stay home and just write! :(

    P.S.: There is an award waiting for you on my site! :) Get it in the 'Awards' section of my blog!

  50. You'll find your way out of hell! I'm pretty sure people do it all the time. :)

    Good luck and have a great weekend!


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